by Hopium


Music March 22, 2018

I started writing this song, ‘Leave’ in London and at first it was just a stream of consciousness, finding words and phrases. The story started to make itself apparent pretty quickly though. I’d just been through a bad breakup that was on my mind a lot. At the time I felt like it was pretty overdue. We were in a bad cycle, where things would come to a head and we’d talk but nothing would really change. We’d always end up back where we started. Maybe I was scared to go out into the unknown or maybe I was holding out in the hope things would get better. Either way by the time we ended, I felt pretty foolish and like I’d been a bit gullible.

When I was writing this song, I was drawing from that experience and trying to build a character from it; someone that’s self-destructive and hurtful, and even sort of arrogant about the fact that they’ll keep getting away with it. They think they’ve got you under their thumb.

The lyrics are intense and really personal, but it doesn’t really bother me to put it out there. The words are extreme, but the direction is true, probably a little for everyone at times. Like, I wasn’t writing thinking of myself, but I’m not perfect and I probably do have a bit of this person in me. I don’t mind shining a light on the darkest parts of who we are – it’s interesting to me and I don’t think there’s anything to be gained by denial.

Come pick me up
From that bar in Adelaide
You know the place
2 minutes til I self destruct
Light a match and watch the flames
You know the place

We all know that place, the moments when you feel like lashing out.

I can love you
And still be hateful

It’s a sad reality that often we’re the most hurtful to those who are closest to us.

Only fuck you
And be unfaithful

I saw an article about “micro-cheating” where maybe you are unfaithful without actually acting on it physically. I wrote this before I read that article but I guess that’s what I’m talking about.

I’m always blaming you when i know its me
Shaming you for just being there for me
Being there for me

As if you haven’t already picked up, this person is a massive narcissist. They see others acceptance of their bad behaviour as weakness.

Don’t trust in
Any promises I make
Or the shit I’m gonna say
You won’t
Get justice
I can always find a way
To make both of us pay

They know what they’re doing but they can’t really help themselves. They’ll even tell you straight up they can’t be trusted.

I know
You know, I know
You won’t ever leave

I know
You know, i know
You’re gonna take more shit from me

This is a challenge, even a taunt. Even when it’s staring you in the face – something is wrong and you can do better!! – the hardest thing can be to just leave.

You wait up all night
In your room until I send
A two word text

They’ll keep you waiting and won’t even try that hard. You decide what the two words are…

And by the time you’ve woken up
To everything I put you through
I will have left
And you’ll have to accept
That you’re complicit
Cause you allow it
If there’s a limit
I haven’t found it

Some classic victim blaming… if you know how I am and you’re still with me, then how is it my fault?

I’m always blaming you when I know it’s me
Shaming you for just being there for me
Being there for me



Hopium has recently signed to Warner Bros and has a degree in psychology under his belt. ‘Leave’ showcases his ability to write personal and relatable lyrics, this essay style piece was intended to further indulge into the meaning behind the song. 

The track tells a tale of manipulation and control in a relationship placed with one-sided, devastatingly cynical observations, as told from the ex’s point of view. They are raw and brutal feelings written shortly after the breakup in Amsterdam. For background on the video, Hopium told us, “I made this in Berlin with my friend Corey who’s a visual artist and projectionist. We did a few very cold all-nighters driving around Berlin with a generator and projector. The German police stopped us because they thought we were anarchists but were cool with it once we explained”

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