The things they don’t tell you about being mixed race…

by Ashley Morris


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Art & Culture January 12, 2019

Discussions on race are neither black or white, literally. Conversations surrounding the topic are almost always met with critique, cross-examination and debriefing. There are questions on whether white privilege exists, who can say what word and why, who can wear what and whether it classed as either “appropriation” or “appreciation”. Going about life in your conventional box may be presented as challenging enough, but what about the two? Despite the conversation almost seeming omnipresent, it’s rarely bluntly brought to the forefront as it is. However, once the Duke of Sussex, Prince Harry, announced his engagement to American actress Meghan Markle it was glaring and evident that the media would be quick to label her as “unconventional” did so not because of her career or anything particularly striking about her personal life, but because of the fact that she is mixed race. Media coverage of their engagement focused heavily on Markle’s ethnicity, as a result, leading the BBC doing a feature on the ‘rapidly changing mixed race population’ and an article in Metro stoutly stating: “It’s a great day for interracial couples and mixed-race girls everywhere.” And as Georgia Chambers of The Guardian amazingly put it, if we insist on depicting her as symbolic of the mixed-race experience, Markle serves as a reminder that no matter what we achieve, our ghost of “incompleteness” will continue to  haunt us.

 

However, London-based photographer Susan Dale is tired of the narrative that doesn’t diverge; a tiredness that prompted her to finally get to launch the Halu Halo Project. She says “It seems bizarre to me that in this day and age where everyone is so obsessed with identity politics that no one is actually interested in the mixed race experience- unless it involves Meghan Markle”. It’s a very fair point to mention that it took the monarchy and a white prince to get this journey the recognition that it deserves. In the UK, population projections suggest that the mixed groups are the fastest growing ethnic groups, with over 1 million people identifying as being of dual-heritage. Society has not accommodated the growing number of young people of mixed race, in that they are frequently categorised as black, rarely as white, and not accorded their chosen mixed identity.

 

But founder Susan Dale has short shrift for anyone who believes representation and visibility to be a “box ticking” task. The photographer tells us “I was incredibly frustrated that at the age of 31, I had gone through a lifetime without seeing myself or my experiences reflected back at me in the media, literature or culture. I was tired too of seeing one particular type of mixed race girl, guy or mixed race family showcased as ‘the future’ and proof of a post racial world. I created this platform to celebrate the diversity of the mixed race community but also as a safe space to share our stories. I created what I wish had existed when I was a young girl struggling with my identity and how others perceived me”.

 

The Halu Halo Project was an online photography series born out of frustration at the lack of public discourse or acknowledgement of mixed race people’s experiences. Through a series of beautiful portraits and perspectives that allowed the individuals to share personal thoughts on identity, race and self, each one casts a new light on how we see ourselves.

 

Blaise Duggan by Susan Dale

South American (Guyanese) & Irish.

“Although I knew from young I was different to most of my class, I never felt bad for it due to the fact my mum taught me what was inside was important. I am so grateful she taught me about my black South American side and white Irish side equally; I am so strong and confident in my race due to her. At the end of the day I’m human and we all bleed blood, I could never treat someone a certain way by their skin colour, but sadly other people do”.

 

Paul Joseph Harper by Susan Dale

1/4 Afro Caribbean and 3/4 white British.

“My mum came to pick me up from nursery and upon arrival was greeted by one of the caretakers and when asked who’s child she was picking up the caretaker said “you must be the nanny” and my mum replied “no, I’m the mummy”. This is the kind of encounter we have had to deal with most of our lives”.

 

Susan Dale wants more than just one sort of narrative to be taught to the masses when it comes to heritage and mixed identity, part of HaluHalo is about showing the diversity of being mixed race in all its forms and above all else, she also wants complete inclusivity of every racial heritage and their stories, which is the most significant outcome of this photo journal project. Telling us “I want mono racial people to understand that some of their interactions and seemingly jokey comments are incredibly othering. I want the media to be emboldened to tell our stories, they are rich and complex and deserve to be heard. But most importantly I want parents of mixed race children to step up. Raising your child with a colour blind mentality in a world that operates through a prism of race and will constantly question your child’s identity is ultimately damaging. Similarly raising your child by imposing a racial identity on them because that is how the world will view them (yet dismissing the other part of their identity) is ultimately damaging. No you will not understand what your child will face or experience but what you can do is create a space for them to navigate their self-identity journey. The best way to do that is to openly discuss race. By not talking about it doesn’t mean that racism goes away. Give your child the opportunity to embrace all of their identities, especially those which they may not grow up surrounded by or not have easy access to their community”.

Danielle Lea Nagawa Sams by Susan Dale

White and Black African/ half Ugandan, half English

“Generally, I felt more pressure to choose the black side. I guess I just came to a realisation that I’m never going to be fully accepted by either community. I love that I know where the majority of my roots are and can connect with both sides of my heritage, and that my family and close friends accept and love me regardless of my skin colour. I use my experience to educate anyone who wants to learn and that’s great. Find your own way, stop copying others to find yourself because that’s a terrible method and tell your mum you want to do arts, not science because science is just memorizing facts and it’s boring and you are far too fickle and energetic for that. Read more books, watch more documentaries and don’t lose your confidence, you need it”.

 

Darcy-Dionyves Heira Joadie River Martin Lake by Susan Dale

Jamaican, St. Lucian, Indian and Scottish + Russian, Dutch, English, Latvian, Irish, Spanish, Portuguese

“In London, people didn’t see me differently. I was blessed also by having a fair amount of white privilege, my hair is wavy and I am from a family of all white people. It was only once I moved to Kent at 11 that I noticed the difference, both in the lack of diversity and the things people called me. I wish there was more of an understanding that race isn’t just about identifying with one race. I wish more mixed race people didn’t feel the need to adopt just one part of their heritage. It’s a heartbreaking experience to hear my mixed friends say ‘I’m black, I’m not white,’ or something similar. I’ve had plenty more people tell me I’m more white than I am black. What is this need to box everyone? Why can’t I embrace all of my heritage? Why can’t you?”

 

In relation to mixed race identities recent weeks have given light to an even larger conversation, a Twitter storm hit the internet accusing mostly white Instagram influencers, beauty bloggers and makeup gurus alike of altering their appearance to appear as ‘racially ambiguous’. This has been done through enhancing their lips so they look fuller, using wigs and weaves to change their hair texture. Though some have denied that’s what they’re doing, blaming their change on a propensity to deeply tan, multiple people and social media outlets have explored contrasting photos of these bloggers through ‘before and after’ photographs, as well as calling these influencers out through explaining the social, historic and cultural factors of their actions and how the, what the internet as referred to as ‘Blackfishing’ is in fact, racist.

 

The practice has been rightfully heckled as “the epitome of White privilege” as it not only allows these bloggers to apply features that many mixed race people, myself included, were made to feel ashamed of having whilst growing up. These features are also applied like accessories, and these bloggers are not made to confront the political consequences that come alongside holding them, such features such as afro hair, darker skin and a curvier figure were often what made people of dual or multi heritage, stand out from the rest of their family, resulting in all sorts of unwarranted questions and comments from strangers, causing them to feel isolated. “Our identity comes loaded ; you can’t pick and choose the ‘desirable’ parts and profit from it.” Susan tells us. She continues “’I don’t believe mixed race identities are being discussed as much as they should be given that it’s 2019 and we’ll be the biggest ethnic minority group in UK by 2020. There are many of us pushing that discussion to the fore on various platforms and social media but the biggest impact will be seeing our stories in mainstream media, film and TV and celebrities openly talking about their identity (it’s easier to find an interview of a celebrity self-identifying as a feminist than as mixed race) as they have the furthest reach. It’s also important for mono-racial people to understand about the mixed race identity because many are now in interracial relationships having mixed race children or they have a family member that is mixed race. I’m hopeful that as a society we are becoming more accepting of the mixed race identity but I am also very conscious that there is still a lot of work ahead of us.”

Delphine Chui by Susan Dale

Belgian and Chinese

“That yes, we are “lucky” to have multi-cultural backgrounds, but it can also be really isolating too. I never saw anyone who looked like me in the public eye growing up and I had some experiences that I didn’t feel resembled anyone’s else’s – which can feel lonely. To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before was one of the first films I’ve ever seen where the kids were actively from a half-Caucasian and half-Asian household so it really resonated with me, but that only came out now and I’m 29! One day you won’t want to be like everybody else at all – and embracing your uniqueness is so freeing and will allow you to finally find yourself”.

 

Naomi Naidoo by Susan Dale

Scottish and South African (of Indian origin)

“I think the experience of being mixed race, and all the identity issues, family dynamics, etc, that come with that, are not well represented in media or in culture more generally, which is why projects like this one, writers like Zadie Smith and plays like the recent Hashtag Lightie at Arcola are so important. At the same time though, because of colourism and fetishisation of light skin, mixed race people are hugely over represented when it comes to people of colour in general. So many PoC in the spotlight are mixed, no doubt largely because light skin is the only sort of colour deemed to be palatable to society/ a white audience – whether that’s as a princess, a president or a vogue cover girl. Even now when all brands and magazines are trying to capitalise on diversity, you still see so much of that space taken up by mixed race people. So, although the actual experience and politics of being mixed is still under-explored, and deserves more attention, I think we need to acknowledge that we’re also disproportionately over-represented in comparison to other PoC, which I think is an even bigger issue”.

Though social media platforms has been a gateway for people to access more insight into the lives of everyone surrounding them and beyond, the media still rarely reflect the reality of the cultural grey space of the reality of what it actually means to be of mixed heritage. The term “mixed race” includes an assortment of shades and heritages which are rarely ever acknowledged, the public discourse and the overall acknowledgement is still severely lacking for those that feel constantly torn between a multitude of backgrounds as well as how it affects life ethnologically. On what the photographer has personally learnt alongside growing her project, she tells us “No matter your mix, the circumstances in which you were brought up, how you are perceived by others, some of the feelings, thoughts and experiences you have will be similar to others. And that is comforting to know since so much about being mixed race is complex, internal and isolating”.

 

Jaixia Blue Ellis-Crook by Susan Dale

English and Jamaican

“I believe things are much better nowadays. It isn’t taboo to see a mixed-race person in the media or even just in general, like it was before. I think we are now in this ‘melting pot’ era….in a matter of time we’ll all become one big mixed race. I hope we can move toward more representation of darker skinned men and women as lead roles so that women like my mum can feel like the heroine of their own story. I also hope that casts, in general, can become more diverse and representative of today’s society, which I think the industry is moving toward… It’s sad to watch things with just one or two ‘ethnically ambiguous’ girls thrown in for good measure”.

 

Harrison Arjun Aujla by Susan Dale

1/2 Indian (Punjab Region), 1/2 English

“I feel that being mixed race has become accepted in British society. Yet, as more mixed race babies are born, there will certainly be more racism. Since the Brexit vote we have seen such an increase in racism already in the country, that I grow scared for the mixed race kids of the next generation, who grow up through a government who does little to condemn racism against this new “breed” of kids. You are a product of your environment, not of your bloodline. When I was 14 years old, people started calling me a “Yellow Paki Terrorist” at school as a “joke”, but it hit much deeper than that. It made me ashamed of my Indian Punjabi heritage, and I shunned it’s ideals for years. It wasn’t until I was 17 that I understood the gift of being mixed race, and at 19 I asserted my heritage by getting the Sikh Khanda tattooed onto my right arm. The fact that I do identify with two different groups- that I’m one with two cultures. It seems strange to so many that I can celebrate traditional English holidays, but also go to a Gurdwara and partake in Langar (Communal Kitchen). I can eat a Roast Dinner on a Sunday, but also a Tandoori Chicken. I am two different cultures, but at the end of the day, I’m just one person, not two foreign entities”.

 

The Halu Halo Project is a wonderful one at that, the images all uniquely exquisite and each interview equally as cogent and telling. It heavily reminds us that no matter how confusing and isolating emotions may be, we’re never truly alone in them. The interrogation of being asked where you’re ACTUALLY from followed by dismissal of your answer are not too uncommon, as well as other forms of alienation, racism and invalidity. However, the blending of cultures help mould our identity and view life from different perspectives is one of the many upsides and despite these mental strains and identity battles, one thing that everyone involved in the project agreed on is as that they don’t want to change that aspect of their lives because the hardships help make them who they are, the project providing an overall feeling validation and inclusiveness. “HaluHalo was created first and foremost for mixed race folk. I hope it encourages others to delve deeper into understanding their identity. I hope it shows that how they feel is valid and they shouldn’t minimise or dismiss those feelings. I hope that they see that they are enough just as they are”.

www.haluhalo.org

Follow the project on Instagram at @halu_halo

Ashley Morris | WRITER



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culture dual heritage ethnicity halu halo Heritage mixed race noctis NOCTIS MAG Noctis Magazine photographer race susan dale